So what have I been up to? If any of you had read my post about ‘Internada Mama’, the short answer is that I’ve assumed that role full-time. The longer answer is that in March, I was asked to help out the missionary who cares for the 20 younger teenager girls, ages 11-14. In my past post, I had mentioned this new program for teenagers at the Santuario and how I would be doing therapy sessions with the girls. While indeed, I have been able to progress with intakes and evaluations of the different cases, it has been the time spent with the girls in their every day lives that has been of the greatest therapeutic value. Allow me to explain…
In these past few months, I’ve come to a deeper understanding of the Incarnation – what it meant for God to become man, for God to assume our human flesh, to humble himself and become one of us. We all know that teenagers are not the easiest age group in the world to manage, let alone in a foreign culture. Thus, there has been all the more need to assume their same lifestyle, to become one of them in the joys and difficulties of their fragile little lives. This has meant waking up at 5am, doing chores with them, giving them a kiss and sending them off to school, letting them serve me up a plate with more food for one meal than I could eat in an entire day, bringing the light of Christ into their lives through talks and programs, making sure they all take their medicine (even the nasty tasting ones), letting loose in latino dancing lessons, consoling hearts that boys have broken, skipping to the beach and frolicking in the waves, homework till 11pm with weary eyes, laughing till we almost cry and repeat.
Nothing like a day on the beach with my girls!
In sharing with the girls in their every day moments, I’ve gained their trust, despite the fact that I’m a foreigner and still can’t speak the language perfectly. (Though, I will say, in the beginning, one of the girls thought I was Ecuadorian with a speech disability. Haha. Yesterday, I was helping a girl with her English homework and she asked me how long I’d known how to speak English/when I learned the language. So I guess I’m improving. Haha.) This trust is hard to earn from teenagers, and as any of my friends in the field of psychology know, trust is the primary foundation of the client- counselor relationship. While APA ethics have taught us that you shouldn’t have contact or other relationships with your clients outside of sessions, I’ve found that in order for therapy to be effective here, it is quite necessary to have a pre-existing relationship with the girls. When you are a foreigner and don’t speak a language proficiently, it is nearly impossible to have therapeutic success based solely on office interactions. We all know the general attitude of teenagers: “No one understands me.” How much more would an Ecuadorian teenager assert this attitude to a foreign counselor if the foundation of trust had not first been laid? Thus, this is my theory on counseling as a missionary…one must first demonstrate a full cultural immersion, and the only way to do that is to completely assimilate the life which the people live…to the point where they see you as one of them, and not as the ‘other.’ This is when one’s work as a therapist will bear the most fruit…when your work is motivated by love to the point that it is transformed and becomes incarnational, just as it God’s profound love is what transformed Him to be one of us, to share in our humanity.
The littlest one of all...Darlina!
It was a great joy to have my mom and brother come visit two weeks ago and have them share in the mission that I love so much. They happened to come at the same time as the Franciscan University Summer Mission, which was such a blessing to have such Christ-filled, joyful hearts from my alma mater here in the Santuario. The group was able to minister to the teens and also provide catechesis in the towns. We were able to put on a one-day womanhood and manhood retreat for the teens…as many of you know womanhood ministries are my passion, so I absolutely loved seeing the girls’ reactions as they embraced the concepts of femininity, dignity, purity, modesty and more.
My mom, my brother and I enjoying the lovely view of Quito
My brother Sawyer was able to help the group out with translating in their retreats and town ministries with his superb Spanish speaking skills. My mom took up a sewing project and made each of the girls their own pillow for our ‘sala’, or TV room. The girls still remember the English phrases she would say to them, especially “Come on, girls!” which my mom would say when they wanted to stay in the road talking to the boys after Mass at night. I admire my mom so much for how she assumed an attitude of joy and thrust herself into the mission, even though she only speaks a few phrases in Spanish. My brother, Sawyer, was a big hit with my teenage girls (naturally, with his blue eyes and fair skin…these girls were swooning…) He received a number of letters from ‘secret admirers’, but we’re pretty sure the majority were from my littlest interna, Darlina, who’s 11 years old. Sawyer helped her a lot with her homework and the two quickly became buddies. I think the affection Darlina felt for him was more as a big brother, or even as a father figure since she comes from an intensely abusive family. Sawyer continually amazed me at how he sought out ways he could help here at the Santuario, how he joined in with the FUS group...and went beyond his own comfort zone to serve. For the last few days, we jouneyed to Quito along with my dear friend Maria Bruschi, so my family could see where I lived the first summer I was here in Ecuador. They met my Ecuadorian host family, rode the gondola up into the mountains to see the beautiful view of the city, went to the ‘Middle of the World’, climbed the church bell towers of the Basilica, went to the artesian market and more. All and all, it was a blessed few weeks with the mission group from FUS and my family.
Lastly, I ask for your prayers...I´ve been sick with an intestinal infection that I can´t seem to kick for the past month. Some days it´s worse than others...but it reminds me that good health is a gift from God and that it´s not something to take for granted. When I am weak, I am reminded that my strength comes from Him alone...not from my own physical efforts. May you all find your source of peace, comfort and strength in Christ as well. Until next time...
