Monday, February 16, 2009

Viajes, Venidas, y Despedidas…Trips, Arrivals, & Farewells (Sounds cooler in Spanish, doesn’t it?)

Peace of Christ to all of you! Much has happened since I last wrote…here in Ecuador we are in the midst of what we would call the school year ‘summer vacation’, which will last until the beginning of April. Thus, I was recently able to make the 12-hour journey to Quito to visit some friends and my Ecuadorian host family from two summers ago. Although Quito is a city of over 2 million people, it doesn’t feel as such. Nestled in a valley surround by snow capped mountain peaks, my heart sighs in reminiscence of my Colorado home. Much to my surprise, Mami, Papi and one of my Ecuadorian brothers, Roby, even came to visit me here at the Santuario last weekend! Together we all basked in the simple blessings of life…laughter, fresh seafood, coconut milk, more laughter, sunsets and swimming in a lovely little ocean cove called Ayangue.

My Ecuadorian familia...Mami, Papi, Roby and I...at the delicious seafood restaurant in Libertad Bolivar

In other breaking news, we now have SIX beautiful North American missionaries living here at the Santuario. (Ahem, any male missionaries interested in coming? The teenage boys could really use some strong masculine role models, and as for us, we could use some good dancing partners for all the salsa, merengue and bachata we’ve come to love!) Susan and Ellen arrived at the end of January, and are holding English classes and a basketball camp each day in the neighboring town of Olon. Laura, who’s a fellow FUS alum, arrived about a week ago and will be working as a nurse alongside my dear friend Mariya, who recently arrived back at her Ecuadorian home. Mariya had been here for 6 months in the past year, but returned to the States to pursue medical school. She has been accepted (woohoo!) and will begin her med school journey this August. Thus, she was able to come back to Ecuador for the next four months…and it is an immense blessing to have her at my side once again. Add our veteran nurse volunteer of one year, Miss Sara Ogrodnick, to the mix, plus myself and we’ve got quite the Gringa community! All the more love and laughter to share!

Despite the joyful ‘venidas’/arrivals of our new missionaries, this past month has also been a season of ‘despedidas’/farewells. For one, we would be 7 gringas in total, but Grace just returned back to the states last week. She had been my dear companion in this Ecuadorian journey since my arrival in November…and I suppose she could almost be considered like a living diary or chronicle of those first three months, as we had shared the ordinary moments of every day together. I feel as though there’s an emptiness in my heart and I miss her dearly…even in the midst of such a wonderful community of women. I suppose it is a testament to the undeniable fact that no one is replaceable. We each play a necessary role in the lives of those around us in helping them advance toward heaven, that someone else cannot fill. And thus we feel a void in our lives when such a beautiful friend cannot share in the voyage in the same way as before…and we must learn how to continue the journey towards sanctity as friends from a distance.

My dear amiga Grace and I...

Aside from Grace leaving, the school year recently came to a close, which also meant that one by one, all the kids who lived here at the Sanutario were dispersed back to their homes or other locations for vacation. Unlike previous years, however, the kids will not be returning to live at the Santuario, as their legal representative will be transferring them to a new foundation. While my heart carries great hope to visit these children at this new foundation, the reality remains that there are many of them whom I may never see again. I have always been one to relish a concrete farewell, clinging to that last embrace and tearfully watching my dear ones drive off into the horizon. However, to have this kind of farewell with 79 children proved to be absolutely impossible…not to mention that during this time, I was caring for the teenage girls of the Internada (from my last post) and was often otherwise occupied with them. Thus, in the time span of three days, the children gradually disappeared from the Santuario without a trace. With the realization of every child’s departure, my heart cried a little in knowing that I couldn’t hold each of them in my arms just once more. Yet I was brought back to the wisdom that my dear Mariya once shared with me two years ago, as she and many of our dear friends from Franciscan University had graduated and were being sent forth to every corner of the world. While I had been preoccupied about saying goodbye to each friend, with much peace and tranquility, Mariya simply said, “I’ve lived the way I’d want to say goodbye.” I’ve carried this little pearl of wisdom with me ever since, and it has always consoled me when for whatever reason, I am unable to have that concrete farewell my heart craves. To LIVE the way you’d want to say goodbye…that every moment of your ordinary interactions would be marked by the same immense love and tenderness that a final embrace would hold…so that if that final embrace never comes, one would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were loved by you.

Thus in the midst of my pondering, a smile crossed my lips as I realized that I had indeed lived the way I would have wanted to say goodbye to all my little ones. Memories began to dance upon my mind, moments of singing sleepy-eyed boys to sleep with a few lullabies, one of which *always* had to be ‘Titanic –My Heart Will Go On’, followed by a lullaby prayer in Spanish that I wrote especially for them…moments of intercepting hugs and kisses planted with such uncontainable excitement that I nearly had my breath knocked out of me on several occasions, despite the fact that their little bodies are half my size…moments of whispering prayers into little ears as we kneeled together during the Holy Mass. Then there were moments of reading stories, playing cards and being presented with hand-drawn pictures that still hang upon my wall with “I love you” scribbled on every corner….moments of tickle wars and laughing till we cried, dancing merengue till our feet couldn’t carry us another step further, and jumping over waves in the ocean with squeals of delight….yes, I must believe that the sum of all these moments, which at first glance perhaps appear as nothing in particular, must add up to an unfathomable amount of untainted love and abundant joy…more than one goodbye could ever hold.

Some of the boys from the Jato Mayor and I...

Many of you remember how I had to fight ardently so as to obtain permission for a November departure to Ecuador, as opposed to a later date in January. In hindsight, every battle was worth it, because the victory bought me two months of time to LIVE all of the above, and more. Some of you may wonder, objectively, what I was able to do for those kids in two months…how I was really able to make a difference in their lives for such a short time. I wonder that, too. But then I think back to a prayer I wrote years ago when I first began immersing myself in mission work: “Lord, grant that I may be forgotten, so long as You and your Divine Love are remembered.” In the end, the goal is not that the children remember this ‘gringa’ with curly hair and green eyes…but that the essence of Christ’s love, *true*, unconditional love, has been imprinted upon their hearts. This love cannot be forgotten because it is the realization of that reason for which they exist: to know and love He who has created them for a purpose beyond the suffering they have encountered thus far in their little lives. This nostalgia of heaven dwells within every heart, a yearning for something more than this world has to offer…a yearning for Christ’s love. This is what I hope to have imparted to these precious children… a love that is not of my own accord, but of His sweet heart. And if I have done that, then that alone is more than enough. Mission accomplished.

May this same mission of love be realized in each of your hearts, may you carry Christ to those who are in most need of His love this day…and may you each be infinitely blessed. Much love and prayers…until next time!

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

Beautiful reflection Jo. I love how the Lord speaks through your writing. I send my love!

Elizabeth